Wednesday 23 June 2010

The Core Of My Semi-Sanity - What makes me tick?

To label yourself as a "complex mind" is to merely label yourself as a human being.

We are all equally just as intricate as one another, and I think that to understand that and to understand more about different groups and what makes their cogs spin, is crucial to being able to understand yourself. Unfortunately I haven't grasped it fully yet.

The only people I hate in this world, are people who think they understand people who they couldn't begin to scrape the surface of, with their contrived, stereotyping shovel of a brain.

In my eyes, to find someone on that same wavelength as you is the key to being happy with those around you. I find it in my friends, my family, and this girl down below.




Her name is Lauren, she is the tick to my tock in my minds prematurely weary grandfather clock. She is what makes me tick. Life was different before Lauren. It weren't half as optimistic or sexy. But there will likely be a blog all about her one day (I love you bish ♥) , so rather selfishly and egotistically, back to me.

(That face emerging from those hairy tendrels is me for anyone who has stumbled in here without knowing of my appearance)

I constantly strive to lose myself in things, music, art/designing, laughter, a pint, love. To lose your concept of time in something you enjoy is so liberating that it dampens the blows that life sometimes give you. So kids, have more sex.

I haven't had a bad life up to this point in all my 20 years of having a functioning heart, brain and lungs, but it has gone rather speedily. I like to think of it of a 200m sprint, but around the 150-165m mark there's a huge fucking sand trap of depression, self hatred and fake smiles.

But just off up at about 185m there's a single girl stood there cheering you on.

I don't idolise sports personalities or actors, or even musicians to a certain extent. I respect musicians for their creativity, their ability to weave stories and how they can nonchalantly have a fiddle with your emotion bits, but I was never one to worship a specific band. Instead I idolise comedians. Izzard, Bailey, Fry, Minchin, Brand, The Boosh Duo and the Flight of the Concords would be more welcome at a dinner party than any actor or chesty-boobs-out-in-magazines type lady.

Laughter has saved many situations in the past couple of years, so I have a great respect for people who make a room happier. Forcefully to make at least one person crack a smile every day, and you'll feel happier in yourself.

If I can offer one piece of advice its this. When you are at your lowest, remember the people that you are here for, and know that it WILL get better.

For now that's all I have. I know I've missed half the things I had in my head when I started. But hey, its a blog. Updates ftw right?


Bye, love you.

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