Hair in my cup-a-soup,
The thin black worm to my mug’s apple,
Pomme de terre and leek from my lips.
Wrap around my tongue, parasite,
I react with feline disdain,
Though no feline grace.
Pick you from my soup-hole,
Gulp down the dregs.
Sunday 9 January 2011
Friday 3 December 2010
Growing Up? (a.k.a 'I have a terrible blogging schedule.')
I'm alone in the flat on a Friday night. 3 energy efficient bulbs light the room and save the planet, as I darken the mood and destroy my liver.
Wine, a Sauvignon Blanc Chardonnay sweats in my glass, anxiously dreading its downward spiral into my guttywuts.
iTunes callously selects a playlist of infinitely more depressing downbeat ditties to accompany my scratchy pen movements and incessant mouse clicks creating a 3D model of a product I have no intention of constructing, or using.
Johnny Mathos instructs me to have a Merry Christmas, his tones remind me of home, and a decade earlier when this time of year would have me giddy with anticipation. But no longer. Which brings me to growing up, and the first 9 words of this very blog.
I'm alone in the flat on a Friday night.
What the bloody hell happened. 2-3 years ago I would have been at a party, in a club, at the cinema or cruising round in one of the sixth form gang's motors. But alas, those days are over, I'd try my bloody hardest to claim them back, but my bones are ever so brittle now in my old age, I might just snap like my patience with this work if I ever tried.
Stephen Fry's voice beckons me as Qi begins.
Interest is lost in egotistical blogging.
Full stop.
*PUBLISH POST*
Friday 1 October 2010
To: October (CC: Rain, Wind, Coldness) Subject: "Hello you."
It's been rather too long since blogging. Actually cleared some half finished posts out to get some sort of element of completion to this irrelevant drivel.
Lots to get through and not much all at once. By that I mean I've now moved out, which meant one month of insane hecticness over summer, followed by 3 wasted ones with Brother Xbox and Cousin Minimal Funds. Oh and the missus.
Its an odd experience when you first move out, feels like you're living in a hotel for a while, and when you need to go through 3 security processes from pavement to sofa it feels somewhat less homely, yet refreshingly safer than most student accommodation.
We've settled in now however, and routines are back to half-arsed banality now Uni has started again.
I'm enthusiastic about Uni this year. Was a hard slog back in 09/10 but was rewarding I suppose, so going into it with more gusto might push me to enjoy it more. Don't get me wrong I love design and can't wait to pursue it after uni, but there's something about 6-8 hours a day, 5 days a week, for 3 months in a workshop, for no pay, that doesn't quite speak to me.
So people keep asking if I mind travelling from Huddersfield every morning instead of home. Honestly, I don't care, as long as I have Morissey, Claudio Sanchez or Chris Corner in my ears the journey could be twice as long and I wouldn't mind. But the fact is the journey is pretty much the same in terms of time. Only difference is where I used to have to stand up to let old ladies sit down, I now stand up to let arrogant, selfish businessmen sit down. Which whilst feeling like 'taking it from the man', also offers one seldom consolation:
If an old lady falls off the bus, I have to act seriously and offer help.
If a suited bastard on the train spills coffee in his lap, I can watch and laugh.
Comedy > Tragedy
Its crazy how fast time is going now though. I'm already a quarter of the way through my contract at this place and it feels like we've barely been here. 2010 is in its dying breaths, choking on floods of rain, and soon the ashes of a million bonfires. There's Christmas gear in the shops. FUCKING CHRISTMAS GEAR! It makes me feel a little bit sick that I saw Santa's podgy little face before any sign of a Mummy, Vampire or Frankenstein's Monster this year.*
*Vampire meant very much in the Bram Stoker sense, not Stephenie Meyer's venal bastardisation
Is it turning me into a bigger cynic by places pissing all over traditions just to get a little bit more in their pocket sooner than later?
Is it hypocritical for me to think this when all of last week I was angrily asking where my unearned student finance was?
All I know is as much as we hate to say it, money does make the world go round, and it will buy you happiness. Even if only up until the heel snaps, or the disc scratches, or the night ends in a black eye. You might as well spend it while you've got it.
So if money is the root of all evil, I'll see you all in hell for one last spree.
Lots to get through and not much all at once. By that I mean I've now moved out, which meant one month of insane hecticness over summer, followed by 3 wasted ones with Brother Xbox and Cousin Minimal Funds. Oh and the missus.
Its an odd experience when you first move out, feels like you're living in a hotel for a while, and when you need to go through 3 security processes from pavement to sofa it feels somewhat less homely, yet refreshingly safer than most student accommodation.
We've settled in now however, and routines are back to half-arsed banality now Uni has started again.
I'm enthusiastic about Uni this year. Was a hard slog back in 09/10 but was rewarding I suppose, so going into it with more gusto might push me to enjoy it more. Don't get me wrong I love design and can't wait to pursue it after uni, but there's something about 6-8 hours a day, 5 days a week, for 3 months in a workshop, for no pay, that doesn't quite speak to me.
So people keep asking if I mind travelling from Huddersfield every morning instead of home. Honestly, I don't care, as long as I have Morissey, Claudio Sanchez or Chris Corner in my ears the journey could be twice as long and I wouldn't mind. But the fact is the journey is pretty much the same in terms of time. Only difference is where I used to have to stand up to let old ladies sit down, I now stand up to let arrogant, selfish businessmen sit down. Which whilst feeling like 'taking it from the man', also offers one seldom consolation:
If an old lady falls off the bus, I have to act seriously and offer help.
If a suited bastard on the train spills coffee in his lap, I can watch and laugh.
Comedy > Tragedy
Its crazy how fast time is going now though. I'm already a quarter of the way through my contract at this place and it feels like we've barely been here. 2010 is in its dying breaths, choking on floods of rain, and soon the ashes of a million bonfires. There's Christmas gear in the shops. FUCKING CHRISTMAS GEAR! It makes me feel a little bit sick that I saw Santa's podgy little face before any sign of a Mummy, Vampire or Frankenstein's Monster this year.*
*Vampire meant very much in the Bram Stoker sense, not Stephenie Meyer's venal bastardisation
Is it turning me into a bigger cynic by places pissing all over traditions just to get a little bit more in their pocket sooner than later?
Is it hypocritical for me to think this when all of last week I was angrily asking where my unearned student finance was?
All I know is as much as we hate to say it, money does make the world go round, and it will buy you happiness. Even if only up until the heel snaps, or the disc scratches, or the night ends in a black eye. You might as well spend it while you've got it.
So if money is the root of all evil, I'll see you all in hell for one last spree.
Wednesday 23 June 2010
The Core Of My Semi-Sanity - What makes me tick?
To label yourself as a "complex mind" is to merely label yourself as a human being.
We are all equally just as intricate as one another, and I think that to understand that and to understand more about different groups and what makes their cogs spin, is crucial to being able to understand yourself. Unfortunately I haven't grasped it fully yet.
The only people I hate in this world, are people who think they understand people who they couldn't begin to scrape the surface of, with their contrived, stereotyping shovel of a brain.
In my eyes, to find someone on that same wavelength as you is the key to being happy with those around you. I find it in my friends, my family, and this girl down below.
Her name is Lauren, she is the tick to my tock in my minds prematurely weary grandfather clock. She is what makes me tick. Life was different before Lauren. It weren't half as optimistic or sexy. But there will likely be a blog all about her one day (I love you bish ♥) , so rather selfishly and egotistically, back to me.
(That face emerging from those hairy tendrels is me for anyone who has stumbled in here without knowing of my appearance)
I constantly strive to lose myself in things, music, art/designing, laughter, a pint, love. To lose your concept of time in something you enjoy is so liberating that it dampens the blows that life sometimes give you. So kids, have more sex.
I haven't had a bad life up to this point in all my 20 years of having a functioning heart, brain and lungs, but it has gone rather speedily. I like to think of it of a 200m sprint, but around the 150-165m mark there's a huge fucking sand trap of depression, self hatred and fake smiles.
But just off up at about 185m there's a single girl stood there cheering you on.
I don't idolise sports personalities or actors, or even musicians to a certain extent. I respect musicians for their creativity, their ability to weave stories and how they can nonchalantly have a fiddle with your emotion bits, but I was never one to worship a specific band. Instead I idolise comedians. Izzard, Bailey, Fry, Minchin, Brand, The Boosh Duo and the Flight of the Concords would be more welcome at a dinner party than any actor or chesty-boobs-out-in-magazines type lady.
Laughter has saved many situations in the past couple of years, so I have a great respect for people who make a room happier. Forcefully to make at least one person crack a smile every day, and you'll feel happier in yourself.
If I can offer one piece of advice its this. When you are at your lowest, remember the people that you are here for, and know that it WILL get better.
For now that's all I have. I know I've missed half the things I had in my head when I started. But hey, its a blog. Updates ftw right?
Bye, love you.
We are all equally just as intricate as one another, and I think that to understand that and to understand more about different groups and what makes their cogs spin, is crucial to being able to understand yourself. Unfortunately I haven't grasped it fully yet.
The only people I hate in this world, are people who think they understand people who they couldn't begin to scrape the surface of, with their contrived, stereotyping shovel of a brain.
In my eyes, to find someone on that same wavelength as you is the key to being happy with those around you. I find it in my friends, my family, and this girl down below.
Her name is Lauren, she is the tick to my tock in my minds prematurely weary grandfather clock. She is what makes me tick. Life was different before Lauren. It weren't half as optimistic or sexy. But there will likely be a blog all about her one day (I love you bish ♥) , so rather selfishly and egotistically, back to me.
(That face emerging from those hairy tendrels is me for anyone who has stumbled in here without knowing of my appearance)
I constantly strive to lose myself in things, music, art/designing, laughter, a pint, love. To lose your concept of time in something you enjoy is so liberating that it dampens the blows that life sometimes give you. So kids, have more sex.
I haven't had a bad life up to this point in all my 20 years of having a functioning heart, brain and lungs, but it has gone rather speedily. I like to think of it of a 200m sprint, but around the 150-165m mark there's a huge fucking sand trap of depression, self hatred and fake smiles.
But just off up at about 185m there's a single girl stood there cheering you on.
I don't idolise sports personalities or actors, or even musicians to a certain extent. I respect musicians for their creativity, their ability to weave stories and how they can nonchalantly have a fiddle with your emotion bits, but I was never one to worship a specific band. Instead I idolise comedians. Izzard, Bailey, Fry, Minchin, Brand, The Boosh Duo and the Flight of the Concords would be more welcome at a dinner party than any actor or chesty-boobs-out-in-magazines type lady.
Laughter has saved many situations in the past couple of years, so I have a great respect for people who make a room happier. Forcefully to make at least one person crack a smile every day, and you'll feel happier in yourself.
If I can offer one piece of advice its this. When you are at your lowest, remember the people that you are here for, and know that it WILL get better.
For now that's all I have. I know I've missed half the things I had in my head when I started. But hey, its a blog. Updates ftw right?
Bye, love you.
Tuesday 22 June 2010
The Launch - WTF is this?
I've been wanting to do something bloggy/vloggy/journalistic for a while, and what better time to start a blog than the 22nd of June 2010, 10 years late in the craze of blogging.
Regardless I thought here would be a better place to spout off about how I feel about certain things than forums and image boards, where a response to your argument is likely to be the same result as if you jabbed a very angry, horny, illiterate bull with a very sharp stick.
In terms of focus of the blog, I will update when I feel something I see or hear is worth talking about, instead of a day to day 'my life is fun, today i bought broccolis LOL' blog.
This is not in any means a blog of truths, its a blog of opinions.
If you read it and enjoy it, thank you. Even if you read it and hate it or disagree with it, thank you still for showing an interest, it would be nice to think that these blogs don't just end up as the ramblings of a schizophrenic crumbling student mind.
On to the real blogging.
Regardless I thought here would be a better place to spout off about how I feel about certain things than forums and image boards, where a response to your argument is likely to be the same result as if you jabbed a very angry, horny, illiterate bull with a very sharp stick.
In terms of focus of the blog, I will update when I feel something I see or hear is worth talking about, instead of a day to day 'my life is fun, today i bought broccolis LOL' blog.
This is not in any means a blog of truths, its a blog of opinions.
If you read it and enjoy it, thank you. Even if you read it and hate it or disagree with it, thank you still for showing an interest, it would be nice to think that these blogs don't just end up as the ramblings of a schizophrenic crumbling student mind.
On to the real blogging.
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